I've just spent the afternoon writing a new UDF -- yes, I certainly know how to have a fun weekend! This particular UDF has caused me to almost lose my mind, but I'm quite pleased to announce that it seems to work well at this point... And I didn't quite lose it.
This UDF returns the text of any routine (UDF/stored procedure/trigger). Sounds simple, but there were a few interesting twists along the way.
So check it out! And stay tuned for why I would bother creating something like this...